WHAT A MAD MOVIE! It opens with a sales pitch for Nasa, showing some rather shaky looking models, before getting down to the main event....a trip to Venus in a nice shiny rocket. On board are two 'astronauts', one of them so old he should be on a pension, and their tinpot robot, John, who walks as if he has had a 'toilet accident' in his pants. They stop at a space station to gas up and have the tyres checked, then arrive at Venus about a minute later...but something goes wrong with the landing! Luckily for them, back on Earth is a reserve crew in an identical rocket (except that this one has three humans...another old codger and two toughs with Tony Curtis haircuts, but no robot) who must set out after them in hopes of rescue. To make up for their lack of a mechanoid, they have a SPACE CAR! This mean machine rides on a cloud of smoke and has a bazooka on the roof but no alloy wheels or airbags. Meanwhile the intrepid pioneers are attacked by Venusian reptiles (bandy legged extras hopping about in Godzilla suits) but fight them off with guns and rocks while John goes for a walk to loosen his rusty nuts. The rescue party has a run-in first with the plant from 'Little Shop of Horrors', then later with the Venusian 'God', a very ropey looking rubber pterodactyl on a string which they kill with the gun on the 'space car'. The pioneers and their rescuers are finally reunited, and one of them displays an alarming habit of chucking rocks at the glass space helmets of the others for a joke! Gorgeous Mamie Van Doren and several other Playboy Bunnies in seashell bras provide the alien crumpet of the title, and Peter 'Last Picture Show' Bogdanovitch of all people does the narration. One item in the credits: 'costumes executed by Marion of Hollywood'...if only she could have done the same for the scriptwriters! More interplanetary ineptitude with Sneaky Elephant SOON!
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