OK then, let's try to pick the bones out of this one...a scientist from 'behind the Iron Curtain' , Professor Turdinski (or something) has a briefcase full of atomic secrets which will somehow enable the USA to 'plant a flag on the Moon'. The KGB send a couple of agents to steal the plans and a laughable shootout ensues in the desert, during which several people die ludicrous deaths and the prof walks, rather than runs away from the gunfire.The fact that he is played by the enormously fat Tor Johnson may have something to do with this lack of athletic ability (Tor is most famously remembered for his performance as a zombie in Plan 9 From Outer Space, widely regarded as the worst film ever made). As he waddles across the desert, an atom bomb goes off, which has the effect of turning him into a mindless killer...yes, he's the BEAST of the title! He spends the next half hour or so 'strangling' several unfortunate people while various other characters rush aimlessly hither and yon to the accompaniment of a turgid voice-over. This film has no plot, story or dialog that I can discern, and its one saving grace is that it runs at a touch under 54 minutes total running time. THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN! It makes Plan 9 look like Lord of the Rings! More subatomic stupidity from Sneaky Elephant SOON!
No comments:
Post a Comment