No, it's not a frog, it's a TROG! This movie, Joan Crawford's last, is so funny your sides will split. Miss Crawford ( she must have REALLY REALLY needed the money to appear in this) plays Dr. Brockton, an anthropologist who discovers a troglodyte, or caveman, hiding in the local caverns. A television crew manages to entice the hairy bugger out and the doctor shoots him three times with a dart gun (one hundred and eighty!). She then gets him back to her lab, where she teaches him the colours of the rainbow (ugh...red! ugh...green! ugh...blue!), what to drink (ugh..waa...terrr!) and even attempts a BREEDING PROGRAM (ugh...ugh...uuugghhh!), although not personally. The unfortunate cave dweller then has a bad reaction to rock and roll music, and has a tussle with a dog. He also undergoes brain surgery.The creature eventually tires of this treatment and goes on the rampage, murdering the local butcher, baker and candlestick...I mean greengrocer. Trog himself is played by Joe 'The Dazzler' Cornelius, a former professional wrestler who used to own a pub near Victoria Station many years ago.I met him several times and he was a lot nicer in person than he appears here, hidden as he is under crappy whiskers and a rubber mask that looks like it will fall off at any second, not to mention a pair of furry slippers.Also stars Michael Gough, who appeared as Alfred in four of the Batman films. Here, he plays a local businessman who takes an irrational dislike to the hairy fellow. Directed by Freddie Francis, who really should have known better. P.S. I was lying about the breeding program! More neanderthal naughtiness with Sneaky Elephant SOON!
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