Flesh Gordon (1974)

http://veehd.com/video/4534798_Flesh-Gordon-1974

You won't believe your (hogs) eyes! Emperor Wang the Perverted is the ruler of the planet Porno.He devises an evil plan to conquer the Earth by turning everyone into sex maniacs with his 'sex-ray', and only Flesh Gordon can save us! He sets off for Porno with his girlfriend Dale and Professor Flexi-Jerkoff to find the source of the ray and defeat the evil villain.This astonishing parody of the old Flash Gordon serials was released in 1974 and is about what you would expect from the title. Unbelievably stupid...but funny in places, and the special effects are better than many 'serious' movies.But remember...if you see the Penisaurus coming, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!  More dirty doings with Sneaky Elephant SOON!

Trog (1970)

http://stagevu.com/video/ldhasiqnybrf

No, it's not a frog, it's a TROG! This movie, Joan Crawford's last, is so funny your sides will split. Miss Crawford ( she must have REALLY REALLY needed the money to appear in this) plays Dr. Brockton, an anthropologist who discovers a troglodyte, or caveman, hiding in the local caverns. A television crew manages to entice the hairy bugger out and the doctor shoots him three times with a dart gun (one hundred and eighty!). She then gets him back to her lab, where she teaches him the colours of the rainbow (ugh...red! ugh...green! ugh...blue!), what to drink (ugh..waa...terrr!) and even attempts a BREEDING PROGRAM (ugh...ugh...uuugghhh!), although not personally. The unfortunate cave dweller then has a bad reaction to rock and roll music, and has a tussle with a dog. He also undergoes brain surgery.The creature eventually tires of this treatment and goes on the rampage, murdering the local butcher, baker and candlestick...I mean greengrocer. Trog himself is played by Joe 'The Dazzler' Cornelius, a former professional wrestler who used to own a pub near Victoria Station many years ago.I met him several times and he was a lot nicer in person than he appears here, hidden as he is under crappy whiskers and a rubber mask that looks like it will fall off at any second, not to mention a pair of furry slippers.Also stars Michael Gough, who appeared as Alfred in four of the Batman films. Here, he plays a local businessman who takes an irrational dislike to the hairy fellow. Directed by Freddie Francis, who really should have known better. P.S. I was lying about the breeding program! More neanderthal naughtiness with Sneaky Elephant SOON!

Fahrenheit 451 (1966)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWFmKt9NVMw&feature=related

NO SMOKING! Guy Montag is a fireman of the future, but he doesn't put fires out...he STARTS THEM! This adaptation of the Ray Bradbury novel is directed by Francois Truffaut and stars Oskar Werner as Montag. In the near future books are banned, and readers are rebels against society. The firemen cruise around on their fire engine carrying out property searches, and any books they find are promptly set alight ( 451º F is the temperature at which paper burns) in public.Dissatisfied with his aimless life, Montag steals a book and reads it in secret... This fine film is somewhat dated now, but has a fine sense of style, plus some good performances.Unfortunately I could only find a version with Japanese subtitles, but don't let that put you off, as it's well worth a look. More hot stuff from Sneaky's trunk SOON!

Heartbeeps (1981)

http://stagevu.com/video/lekzagucaidv

  Yes, it's HEARTBEEPS! Starring one of my comedy heroes, the amazing Andy Kaufman, this is one of the worst movies ever committed to celluloid. Andy is Val, a valet robot, who meets and falls in love with Acqua (Bernadette Peters) when they both go back to the factory for repairs. They steal a van and escape, pursued by Crimebuster, a sort of fat Dalek in a tank who is the local law enforcing robot. They also find time to produce a 'child' named Phil (allegedly Grateful Dead icon JERRY GARCIA...but all he does is bleep) out of spare parts, and fall in with a stand up comedy robot (who spends the entire movie sitting down!) named Catskil. This unfortunate fellow tells the lamest jokes you ever heard, the one about the man who thinks he's a fridge being typical of his repertoire. However, it turns out that he is conserving energy by selecting 'low power joke mode', and he finally redeems himself with a blinding mother-in-law crack at 1:04:48 into the film. This tale has an exceptional cast including Randy Quaid, Kenneth McMillan, Christopher Guest (Nigel Tufnel from SPINAL TAP) and Kathleen Freeman (The Penguin nun in THE BLUES BROTHERS). Also, the soundtrack was composed by John Williams...yes, the STAR WARS guy! Despite this,I'm warning you...it's  AWFUL!!! In fact, it did such dismal business on release that Kaufman himself apologised to his fans and offered to refund their ticket money during an appearance on the David Letterman show. Letterman's advice to Andy was to make sure he had change of $20! I loved every minute of it...but then I'm just a dumb animal...More dross among the diodes from Sneaky Elephant SOON!

This Island Earth (1955)

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xgkf2m

Based on the 1952 novel by Raymond F. Jones, THIS ISLAND EARTH is a much-loved and influential classic sci-fi movie starring Rex Reason, Jeff Morrow and Faith Domergue. The planet Metaluna is at war with the evil Zagons, so they send their man Exeter (Jeff Morrow) to Earth to get some uranium for their weapons. Meanwhile, Dr. Cal Meacham (Rex Reason) orders some electronic components but gets some strange parts instead, plus plans to build a device called an Interocitor. When this machine is turned on, Exeter appears on the screen and recruits Meacham to his cause against the Zagon menace.He takes Meacham and his girlfriend Ruth back to Metaluna,where things are looking bad for the home side.A big-headed monstrosity called the Mut-Ant lurks in the corridors of the Metalunan city, adding to the general confusion.It turns out, however, that the Metalunans have a hidden agenda, and Exeter must betray his home planet in order to save the Earth. This film is packed with great ideas and special effects for the time, despite the lockjaw performances and wooden dialog! Sit back and enjoy a big chunk of Cold War era scaremongery, but mind the Mut-Ant doesn't get you! More alien antics with Sneaky Elephant SOON!

The Bed Sitting Room (1969)

http://www.veoh.com/watch/v18728107N337ZF76

‎'GOD SAVE OUR GRACIOUS MRS ETHEL SHROAKE!' This film, directed by Richard Lester, is based on the surreal play by Spike Milligan and John Antrobus. It concerns the survivors of WW3, slowly decaying amid the ruins and rubble of society. It stars many familiar faces from British television and film, notably Arthur Lowe,Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, Rita Tushingham and Dandy Nichols. The war only lasted two minutes and 28 seconds, but the lingering radiation has had catastrophic effects on the survivors....Arthur Lowe turns into a parrot (and is cooked and eaten), Mona Washbourne into a wardrobe, and Ralph Richardson into the bed sitting room of the title. Dandy Nichols plays Mrs Ethel Shroake, former cleaner to Her Majesty, and as a result the new monarch of England. Milligan himself is on his usual surreal form, and the screenplay follows the original story as best it can, despite the obvious limitations of 60's movie technology. I won't make any jokes about this one, it makes its point in tragi-comic style...More tales of wonder from Sneaky Elephant's movie alerts to follow!

Guest House Paradiso (1999)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHr1XaJCnck

 

This could well be the funniest film ever made. It stars the incredible Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson as the proprietors of the worst hotel in England, situated next to a nuclear power plant.Mayall is Mr Twatt (pronounced Thwaite!) the manager, and Edmondson is the bellboy, waiter, stand-in cook and odd job man. The guests include Bill Nighy, Simon Pegg and Fenella Fielding, all treated disgracefully by our dynamic duo. Throw in an Italian beauty and her violently jealous boyfriend and you have the makings of a fantastically funny romp.There are knob gags, fart gags, you name it and it's here. The movie also features the longest moped joke in the world, and a host of incredibly violent but side splitting fights. After seeing this, you will NEVER eat pea soup again. WONDERFUL! More from Sneaky Elephant's trunk of titters SOON!