Sunday 29 January 2012

From Hell It Came! (1957)

http://www.1channel.ch/external.php?title=From+Hell+It+Came&url=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5tb3ZzaGFyZS5uZXQvdmlkZW8vNGRjZWFmMzk1YjEzYg==&domain=bW92c2hhcmUubmV0&loggedin=0

AT LAST! I searched high and low for a link to this wonderfully bad movie, and now here it is in all its glory, albeit with French subtitles! This is a tale of murder and retribution in the South Sea islands...the young native prince Kimo is framed for the death of his father the Chief by the evil witch doctor Tano, the 'prime minister' Maranka and Kimo's own wife Korey, who is having it off with one or both of them. Before Kimo dies, he swears to return and avenge the wrongs done to him, and this he does...AS A TREE! Talk about Kimo-therapy! This murderous wooden stump (complete with a ludicrous 'face' on the front of his trunk)  lurches around the countryside chasing and killing the evildoers at a snails pace, while a bunch of white scientists try to figure out a way of capturing him. First they try to save it, then they try to kill it...bloody Yanks! However, one of them (the girl doctor obviously) looks great in a bikini, so bear with it. There is also an 'Australian' widow named Mrs. Kilgore, who seems to be played by a Dora Bryan impersonator. The tree is called TABANGA, and is apparently an evil spirit...he is also the least wooden actor in this astonishing production! Luckily for him, the natives are incapable of running or even walking briskly, thus affording him the chance to finish them off by squashing them against another tree or convenient boulder. Seems like I'm not the only one with a deadly trunk! The monster was designed by Paul Blaisdell, the same man who created 'Beulah' the Venusian cucumber alien in IT CONQUERED THE WORLD. Inside the Tabanga suit is professional wrestler Chester Hayes, who also plays the native Maku...I hope he got two paychecks for this. One of the finest crap movies ever, and well worth a look! More marvellous monster mayhem from Sneaky Elephant SOON!
WARNING! I nearly didn't include this movie as it takes a bit of commitment to actually get the link working, but as it is my VERY FAVOURITE MONSTER FILM OF ALL, here it is! Firstly, you will need the Div-X codec player in order to watch it. ON NO ACCOUNT must you download ANYTHING from the site showing the film itself. Instead, go to www.divx.com/ and download the viewer software and install it. Then, click on the link for the film and when it asks you to 'prove that you are human' click on the next link. You will then see the player screen. Click on the 'start' arrow and the film will begin. I repeat...DO NOT DOWNLOAD ANY CODEC OR PLAYER from the movie site itself as those links are just crammed with trojans and spyware. Anyway. the genuine Div-X player is well worth having, as there are many great films using this format on various movie sites.
I hope you make the effort to watch and enjoy this wonderful film...it's the very epitome of the term HORROR, and that's just the ACTING!

Monsturd! (2003)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjZqL2y67Eo


CRAP FILM ALERT! This astonishingly SMELLY motion picture concerns the evil DuTech Corporation that is developing chemical weapons for profit. One of the scientists dies in a bizarre laboratory accident, and her body is illegally DUMPED in the city drain system,where it mixes with human waste products. Meanwhile, the notorious serial killer Jack Schmidt escapes and goes on the RUN in Butte County where he takes refuge in the sewers. Guess what...he falls in the POO and becomes...MONSTURD! Now it's up to the cops to FLUSH him out and WIPE him from the face of the Earth. It's a BIG JOB but someone has to do it.The script isn't worth the TOILET PAPER it was written on, and the cast includes the directors, producers, their friends and families, in fact anyone who would work for next to nothing. As you will see, most of them have never acted before in their lives, and seem to be merely going through the MOTIONS for the camera. A typical Troma production, this has stupid jokes, amateur performances and the very lowest production values, but is still worth LOGGING on for. And no, I'm not PULLING YOUR CHAIN! More diamonds among the dung from Sneaky Elephant SOON!

The Twisted Nerve (1968)

http://stagevu.com/video/dmliumzixkeo

  Here's a typical 'swinging 60s' film, directed and produced by the Boulting brothers. Hywel Bennett is Martin, a disturbed young man who feigns mental illness in order to get into Hayley Mills' knickers. Posing as 'Georgie', he worms his way into her life but soon displays some strange tendencies. He also whistles the most annoying little tune... and gradually his sinister intentions are revealed! This film was criticised at the time of release for the way it portrayed Downs Syndrome. However, it's by no means the worst of its kind...and it has a certain flaky charm. More mental movies from Sneaky Elephant SOON!

Zontar, the Thing from Venus (1966)

http://retrovision.tv/freevideo/zontar-the-thing-from-venus-1966

  AIEEEEEE! It's ZONTAR, the big rubber bat from Venus! This is a terrible remake of the dreadful It Conquered the World, and features John Agar (he made LOADS of crap movies like this one) once more sweating to save Mankind. The monster is truly awful (although he is easily the best actor in this tale), and insists on trying to enslave the human race from his hideout in a cave. He causes terrible problems with his sinister shenanigans, and Dr. Taylor (Agar) has his work cut out trying to foil the flaky fruit-bat's dastardly scheme. I really feel sorry for the poor bugger in the 'alien' costume, after all he was never going to be asked for his autograph by even the most desperate film fan. This was made for American tv and it shows! A definite 0/10 for this one, what a classic! More Sneaky Elephant movie recommendations soon!

The Brain from Planet Arous (1951)

http://retrovision.tv/freevideo/brain-from-planet-arous-the-1951


  IT'S THAT MAN AGAIN! Even before grappling with the mighty ZONTAR, THE THING FROM VENUS, John Agar was sweating buckets against GOR, the Brain from Planet Arous. This is a classic crap movie, and the monster will make you hoot with laughter.....a huge brain with glowing eyes, dangling on a length of fishing line! The plot is simple enough...Gor crashes his light bulb into Mystery Mountain, and hides out in a tunnel. Agar and his pal detect Gor's radiation from 30 miles away (!!!?) and decide to investigate, whereupon Agar gets 'possessed' by the brain. He then has a session with his girlfriend and starts making unreasonable demands of the United Nations. Another brain comes after him and takes over a dog, which leads to further complications. The sweat patches on Agar's shirt come and go seemingly at random, and the acting and special effects are truly dire. The funniest thing you will see for a long time to come! More icky aliens and manky monsters from Sneaky Elephant SOON!

Invaders from Mars (1953)

http://retrovision.tv/freevideo/invaders-from-mars-1953

  This is a classic, a real gem. It concerns a young boy, played by Jimmy Hunt, who realises that something strange is happening to the grownups...his father, for instance, played by Leif Erickson (Big John Cannon in The High Chaparral), who comes home with an alien love-bite on his neck. Meanwhile, huge green Teletubbies with clarinets hobble about in underground caverns. And just wait until you see their leader! 'When I asked for a little head....' HAHAHAHAHA! More from Sneaky Elephant's UFO collection soon!

Sunday 15 January 2012

Quatermass 2 (1955)

http://www.videosurf.com/video/retrovision-media-presents-quatermass-2-episode-1-66657988

  OOOOO! The original BBC series! I wasn't even born when this was originally shown, but I found the paperback screenplay in a bookshop as a kid and never forgot it (well I'm an elephant). This is longer overall than the Hammer feature film starring Brian Donlevy,being more of a forerunner to Dr Who and having that old BBC 'style' to it.Look out for several familiar faces, including Hugh Griffith (the horse loving Sheikh in Ben Hur),Wilfred 'Old Man Steptoe' Brambell and a very young Melvyn Hayes, yes Gloria from It Aint Half Hot Mum! Turn out the lights and get ready for a nice creepy evening in with the Professor, played in dashing style by John Robinson...how English can you get?Trivia items: This tv series and the Hammer feature film have 2 things in common-they were both filmed at the Shell Haven oil refinery in Essex, and the part of McLeod was played by John Rae in both productions. There must have been a shortage of Scots actors at the time! This story and the first Quatermass tale were the scariest things that had ever been seen on British tv at the time,so scary in fact that questions were asked in Parliament about the suitability of such horrors being allowed into our homes!Wonderful stuff! More from Sneaky Elephant's movie alerts soon!

Frankenstein meets the Space Monster (1965)

http://www.horrorflixtheaters.com/apps/videos/videos/show/11376370-watch-frankenstein-meets-the-spacemonster-1965-horror-movie-online-megavideo-veehd

 A spaceship from a dying planet comes to Earth with one objective...to capture GIRLS for breeding with...the DIRTY BUGGERS! Another dreadful/brilliant sci-fi movie with crap monsters and actors alike! They seem to have thrown in as many random elements as possible in an attempt to please everyone...robot astronauts, rock'n'roll pool parties,bikini girls,a bald gay bloke with pointy ears,a gorgeous but mental Alien Queen and a BIG LOONY THING IN A CAGE! This movie was also known as Duel of the Space Monsters. Watch and enjoy! More essential viewing from Sneaky Elephant soon!

The Most Dangerous Game (1932)

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=EXI4NFZC 

  AARRGGHH RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Based on 'The Hounds of Zaroff', the short story by Richard Connell, this great movie starred Fay Wray and Robert Armstrong,the two main (human) leads from King Kong.Also featured are Joel McCrea as 'the famous hunter' Robert Rainsford, and Leslie Banks as the evil Count Zaroff, who finds people better sport than tigers,pigs,bears etc. This film was banned in Britain at the time, the sight of Zaroff's trophy room (human heads on the walls!) causing the censor to faint! A wonderful story that was the inspiration for so many to follow, including Predator,The Running Man and Punishment Park. I'm glad Zaroff doesn't shoot ELEPHANTS! More Sneaky Elephant movie alerts soon!

The Green Slime (1968)

http://www.veoh.com/watch/v20261377FgtwN48C

 What's that on your shoe? UGGGGGG IT'S......THE GREEN SLIME!!! This odd Japanese/American co-production stars Richard Jaeckel (Sgt Bowren in The Dirty Dozen) and concerns an asteroid on a collision course with Earth. Some astronauts set out from their space station to blow it up, and in the process one of them gets a bit of lime jelly on his leg. Once back at the station this begins to grow at an alarming rate, and it eventually mutates into a bunch of one eyed jelly-men waving sparklers in their slimy paws. Throw in a REALLY REALLY dumb script and some of the ropiest sets ever designed and you get one STINKER of a story.Robert Horton is good as the hard-ass senior Commander from Earth who overrides Jaeckel's orders at every turn, then BLAMES HIM when it all goes tentacles up! Good for a laugh. More from Sneaky Elephant's big bag of bad movies soon!

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=CQMKFK67

  Fancy a suck? It's the ATTACK OF THE GIANT LEECHES! Lust and death in the Florida swamps....A boozed up gator trapper claims to have seen a huge 'thing' out in the wilds, but the locals think it's just the whisky talking. They have to think again however, when bodies start turning up with big round 'sucker' marks on them.Then one of the rednecks catches his VERY slutty looking wife 'at it' with his best friend and.....well you'll just have to watch it, won't you? Not a bad little movie, but I never saw 'leeches' with arms and legs before! More from Sneaky Elephant's monster sack of movie mayhem SOON!

The Last Man on Earth (1964)

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=M5H33I28 THE LAST MAN ON EARTH

  THE LAST MAN ON EARTH.....This is the original film version of Richard Matheson's harrowing tale I Am Legend (remade in 2007 with Will Smith). This one stars Vincent Price in the title role, in an excellent display of anguish and determination. Obviously for a 1964 black and white feature, there are no CGI effects but the deserted streets and the reeking fire-pit are just as effective as any computer trickery. The vampires themselves are pretty hammy, but VP more than makes up for it, venturing out with hammer and stakes on his grisly day's work before the sun sets once again. FANTASTIC ENTERTAINMENT! More from Sneaky Elephant's heap of horrors SOON!

The Haunted Palace (1963)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVxYOdZ3h9c&feature=related

  I moved into my new house today, but the estate agent must have lied...it's THE HAUNTED PALACE!!! Roger Corman produced this wonderful mix of Edgar Allen Poe and HP Lovecraft stories to great effect. Everyone's favourite master of horror Vincent Price plays both the innocent Charles Dexter Ward and his diabolical ancestor Joseph Curwen, occasionally both at the same time! Gorgeous Debra Paget plays Mrs Ward, and Lon Chaney Jr lurks in dark corners, scaring her out of her drawers more than once..Also here is that familiar staple of movies for several decades, ELISHA COOK JR! Furthermore, there is a distant retarded relative of Kermit the frog, hiding in the basement and impregnating the local girls with his spawn.Matters come to a head when he tries to get his slimy flippers on Mrs Ward, and all hell breaks loose.Enough talk, go and watch it... More from Sneaky Elephant's trunk of terror SOON!

Killers from Space (1954)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7140333716173454857

Peter Graves again, this time in a ludicrous 'invasion' movie. Graves is an atomic scientist who flies over the top of atom bombs as they detonate(!?) and collects data. One one mission his plane goes into a nosedive and the pilot is killed. Graves however, mysteriously survives...and reappears at the laboratory gates a short while later. A story unfolds concerning giant spiders and cockroaches, a lie detector, and a bunch of hilariously pop-eyed aliens who perform open heart surgery with welding torches. After appearing in stuff like this and It Conquered the World,  Peter Graves must have wondered if he would ever get a decent role again. Landing the part of Jim Phelps in Mission Impossible must have been like playing Hamlet for the poor guy! More interplanetary impostors from Sneaky Elephant SOON!

The Beast of Yucca Flats (1961)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bm1Bd83qrc

OK then, let's try to pick the bones out of this one...a scientist from 'behind the Iron Curtain' , Professor Turdinski (or something) has a briefcase full of atomic secrets which will somehow enable the USA to 'plant a flag on the Moon'. The KGB send a couple of agents to steal the plans and a laughable shootout ensues in the desert, during which several people die ludicrous deaths and the prof walks, rather than runs away from the gunfire.The fact that he is played by the enormously fat Tor Johnson may have something to do with this lack of athletic ability (Tor is most famously remembered for his performance as a zombie in Plan 9 From Outer Space, widely regarded as the worst film ever made). As he waddles across the desert, an atom bomb goes off, which has the effect of turning him into a mindless killer...yes, he's the BEAST of the title! He spends the next half hour or so 'strangling' several unfortunate people while various other characters rush aimlessly hither and yon to the accompaniment of a turgid voice-over. This film has no plot, story or dialog that I can discern, and its one saving grace is that it runs at a touch under 54 minutes total running time. THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN! It makes Plan 9 look like Lord of the Rings! More subatomic stupidity from Sneaky Elephant SOON!

Horror Express (1972)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkDyApEPjjg
 
Hee hee! I cheated the railway company last week...I bought a return ticket but never came back! Just as well really, it was for a ride on ....THE HORROR EXPRESS! Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing together once more in this fine Spanish movie, directed by Eugenio Martin. Lee has a fossil in a box, which he believes to be the 'missing link' between men and apes. Speaking of fossils, Cushing plays a rival doctor,arriving with his midget assistant, Miss Jones. This woman has the most amazing eyebrows ever captured on film...they leap and dance from one part of her face to another at random, and frequently in totally opposite directions. The beastly box of bones causes mayhem and murder on the Trans Siberian express, possessing a police inspector and a mad monk (who looks EXACTLY like Charles Manson) to do so. Telly Savalas arrives, looking for rebel stowaways, and the creature kills again and again. A classic! More from Sneaky Elephant's trainset of terror SOON!

The Wasp Woman (1960)

http://retrovision.tv/freevideo/the-wasp-woman?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+RetrovisionInternetTelevision+%28Retrovision+Internet+Television%29
 
BZZZZZZZZ! This ridiculous tale concerns the female head of a cosmetics firm who is past her prime. So when a mad scientist demonstrates his new rejuvenation formula (he injects a guinea pig which promptly turns into a little white rat!) she WANTS IT! Unfortunately the gunk is made from wasp turds (or something), a stronger version of royal jelly (yeah right!), and just guess what happens to the poor woman who uses it? READ THE TITLE! The 'monster' is a joke, simply being Susan Cabot, still in her skirt and high heels, wearing a bee head and furry gloves whilst rolling around on the floor with her 'victim'. Another masterpiece from Roger Corman, king of the 'B' movie (grooaan!). More from Sneaky Elephant's hive of horror SOON!

Dark Star (1974)

http://stagevu.com/video/jkifxyxemqbb

DARK STAR....the forerunner to ALIEN, made on a tiny budget ($6000!) by a bunch of film students including Dan O'Bannon, Ron Cobb and John Carpenter. The deep space ship Dark Star is on a mission to destroy unstable planets with intelligent bombs, one of which keeps threatening to go off every once in a while. To make matters worse, an explosion in the storage bays has destroyed the ship's entire supply of toilet paper. The commander is dead and stored in the deep freeze, but whenever the crew thaw him out he only wants to discuss baseball. Another crewmember is a daydreamer, yet another is a surfer who would rather be in Malibu, and the poor guy left in charge of this mess is convinced that he shouldn't even be on board in the first place.This crazy film looks much more expensive than it was and features an 'alien' that will make you splutter with laughter. More oddball aliens from Sneaky Elephant's movie alerts soon!

The Dunwich Horror (1970)

http://stagevu.com/video/umufqymfbpnc

 Who was that lady I saw you with last night? That was no lady, that was THE DUNWICH HORROR! This interesting film was produced by Roger Corman, and based on the famous tale by HP Lovecraft, whose stories of gargoyled gods and obscene beasts from other dimensions were mostly unfilmable before CGI came along. Not a bad stab at it here though, starring Sandra Dee and that great actor Dean Stockwell. Look out for Talia Shire before she married Stallone in the Rocky movies. More from Sneaky Elephant's pit of terror soon!

The Killer Shrews (1959)

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=G93W4626

 
It's barrel-scraping time once again...with THE KILLER SHREWS! Two jolly sailors deliver supplies to an island inhabited by a professor and his daughter. Also present is a young man who is carrying several guns...obviously there is something loose on the island! The prof wants his daughter to go back to the mainland on the return trip, mainly to get her away from the other inhabitants....a token Mexican servant (Si Senor! is his only line) and another science type who babbles on about breeding and 'the Hoskins Factor', whatever that is.The professor is working to make humans half the size they already are, in order to solve the problem of overpopulation....fair enough. But why he has to breed shrews the size of St Bernards is a question unanswered in this story, HE JUST DOES, OK??? A hurricane is coming, so the boat boys decide to stay on land until it all blows over, but they soon regret this when the sinister shrews start spookily and stealthily stalking the sweaty sons of the sea ! In a 'shrew-d' move from the makeup department, the monsters are blatantly nothing more than DOGS WEARING MASKS!!! How cheap is that...This was just one of many wild and woolly monster flicks released in the 50's, typical drive-in stuff for scaring the kids. More from Sneaky Elephant's mousetrap of mayhem SOON!

The Reptile (1966)

http://veehd.com/video/4324185_Reptile-1966
 
WHAT A LOAD OF OLD COBRAS! This great Hammer Horror film of 1966 stars Noel Wilman, Ray Barrett, and the familiar face of MICHAEL RIPPER! Ripper was a veteran character actor in scores of British movies, usually playing the innkeeper in Frankenstein or the farmer with the tasty daughter in Dracula. Also here is John Laurie of Dad's Army fame, playing a very funny part as the local nutter... Jaqueline Pearce plays the poor girl who is cursed to become a snake (wearing a terrible pop-eyed mask). This movie has some excellent moments, from the Malay snake-charmer (Marne Maitland at his most sinister) chanting to the creature writhing on her bed to the discovery of the cast-off skin when she has wriggled away to hibernate in the stables.. Trivia fact: The vicar is played by Charles Lloyd Pack, real life father of Roger Lloyd Pack who plays 'Trigger' in Only Fools and Horses. More from Sneaky Elephant's trunk of terror SOON!

Thursday 12 January 2012

Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women (1967)

http://stagevu.com/video/rxwkzkutbllr
WHAT A MAD MOVIE! It opens with a sales pitch for Nasa, showing some rather shaky looking models, before getting down to the main event....a trip to Venus in a nice shiny rocket. On board are two 'astronauts', one of them so old he should be on a pension, and their tinpot robot, John, who walks as if he has had a 'toilet accident' in his pants. They stop at a space station to gas up and have the tyres checked, then arrive at Venus about a minute later...but something goes wrong with the landing! Luckily for them, back on Earth is a reserve crew in an identical rocket (except that this one has three humans...another old codger and two toughs with Tony Curtis haircuts, but no robot) who must set out after them in hopes of rescue. To make up for their lack of a mechanoid, they have a SPACE CAR! This mean machine rides on a cloud of smoke and has a bazooka on the roof but no alloy wheels or airbags. Meanwhile the intrepid pioneers are attacked by Venusian reptiles (bandy legged extras hopping about in Godzilla suits) but fight them off with guns and rocks while John goes for a walk to loosen his rusty nuts. The rescue party has a run-in first with the plant from 'Little Shop of Horrors', then later with the Venusian 'God', a very ropey looking rubber pterodactyl on a string which they kill with the gun on the 'space car'. The pioneers and their rescuers are finally reunited, and one of them displays an alarming habit of chucking rocks at the glass space helmets of the others for a joke! Gorgeous Mamie Van Doren and several other Playboy Bunnies in seashell bras provide the alien crumpet of the title, and Peter 'Last Picture Show' Bogdanovitch of all people does the narration. One item in the credits: 'costumes executed by Marion of Hollywood'...if only she could have done the same for the scriptwriters! More interplanetary ineptitude with Sneaky Elephant SOON!

The Cabinet of Doctor Caligari (1919)

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=KLDM1VAZ CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI
 
Is that your new Ikea wardrobe? No, it's...THE CABINET OF DOCTOR CALIGARI! This fantastic 1919 masterpiece of German cinema was directed by Robert Wiene and stars Werner Krauss as Dr Caligari. Conrad Veidt plays Cesare, the creepy somnambulist who has been asleep for decades, but leaves his casket  to carry out atrocious murders in the town of Holstenwall. The tale is narrated by Francis (Friedrich Feher), who is taken to the fair by his friend Alan and Jane, Alan's fiancee. They are introduced to the Doctor, who keeps Cesare in a box, only releasing him as part of his sideshow act to 'tell the future'. A prophecy comes true, bodies are discovered and Caligari's grisly past is revealed! This amazing silent film has English subtitles and captions, and still grips the viewer today, despite the theatrical arm-flinging performances.Cesare is REALLY CREEPY with his skinny frame and spooky panda eyes, and there is a humorously shocking twist in the tail! A SILENT CLASSIC! More monochrome madness from Sneaky Elephant's moody movies SOON!

Theatre of Blood (1973)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dg73nPNSKh0&feature=related
 
MORE Vincent Price! This one is so similar to the Phibes movies, and was made around the same time. Here VP plays Edward Lionheart, a Shakespearean actor who doesn't take citicism lightly. With his daughter Edwina (Diana Rigg) to assist, he gives the cocksure critics their comical comeuppance in various inventive ways, although this time his inspiration is taken from the Bard's plays rather than the Bible or the Book of the Dead. Again, the cast list reads like a who's who of British film and television of the time, so have fun putting names to those familiar faces! Uncle Vince has a great time hamming it up as usual with tongue firmly in cheek. Enjoy! More deadly delights from the Sneaky Elephant movie guide SOON!

The Black Scorpion (1957)

http://veehd.com/video/3274698_The-Black-Scorpion-1957


During the 50's everyone jumped on the monster movie bandwagon. There were killer trees, giant spiders, enormous ants, and then there was this.... You can guess the plot even before you see the film...volcanic activity unleashes a horde of huge mutated scorpions on New Mexico, and the square jawed scientist and his faithful pal must save the world. Quite how they managed to drag this out over nearly two hours is a minor miracle in itself, and the original film poster is a joke...a big fangy head with pop-eyes and a bikini girl looking over its shoulder. It does have some compensations though, among them the beautiful Mara Corday (she was in Tarantula and The Giant Claw, as well as several Clint Eastwood films) as the love interest for Richard Denning who plays 'Hank the geologist'. In fact most of the cast is Hispanic, which fits in well with the locations. Highlights include a death battle between two of the monsters, and a scene where a bunch of the giant creatures attack a blatantly obvious toy train! I'm being a little unfair perhaps, as this tale is a lot better than some of the stuff released at the time, and the action flows pretty well.Special effects were handled by Pete Peterson and supervised by the great Willis O'Brien, the man who brought the original King Kong to life. So kick back and enjoy...THE BLACK SCORPION! More monstrous moments from Sneaky Elephant's movie mountain SOON!

These Are The Damned (1963)

http://stagevu.com/video/yetqgaewkvkx
 
Nothing to do with Village of the Damned, which was based on The Midwich Cuckoos by John Wyndham. However, this film also concerns a bunch of spooky children. Alexander Knox keeps them in his cave in a cliff, where he has dosed them with radiation so that they can survive a nuclear war. You can tell that this story originated during the Cold War! Meanwhile, Macdonald Carey has moved to Weymouth from the USA to get over his divorce, and gets mugged by Oliver Reed and his biker gang. He becomes embroiled with Ollie's sister, Shirley Anne Field, and eventually the pair find themselves in the complex of tunnels running through the cliffs, leading to....THE DAMNED! Actually, you have to feel sorry for these poor kids because, due to their mutated genetic structure, they have no hope of survival UNLESS the atomic Armageddon takes place. This Hammer production was directed by Joseph Losey, who had to move to the UK after being blacklisted in Hollywood, so this tale echoes his own dislocation of life and career. Two years passed between completion and eventual release, during which the film suffered several minutes of cuts. This is a complete print, so please sit back and enjoy a very good British sci-fi story that is rarely shown today on tv. More megatons of mayhem from Sneaky Elephant's plutonium pile SOON!

Scream and Scream Again (1970)

http://stagevu.com/video/xwayuwyoengo
 
WHAT A MENTAL STORY! This one has everything...a vampire cyborg serial killer, a mad scientist, a nasty East European spy and Amen Corner! Vincent Price plays Dr Browning, a researcher whose female assistant has been found raped and drained of blood. Peter Cushing has a brief part as the leader of an unnamed militarist country which is holding a shot-down British pilot hostage. Christopher Lee is the head of British Intelligence who tries to trade the airman for the facts on the 'Vampire Murders' with the nasty spy but comes unstuck. Alfred Marks plays the cop on the trail of the killer. There is also a poor jogger who, after collapsing on a run, wakes to find himself in a strange bed and missing a leg. In fact, every time this unfortunate athlete wakes, he is missing yet another limb, and this puts paid to his sporting ambitions. He is attended by a silent nurse with the longest eyelashes you ever saw in your life. The English rock group Amen Corner are the resident act in the club where the vampire selects his victims, and the killer himself is played by the handsome Michael Gothard. This is a typical 60s/70s movie, full of long moustaches and garishly dressed hippy types. It is also the first of only two films in which the Unholy Trinity of Price, Cushing and Lee appeared together ( the second being 'House of the Long Shadows' in 1983). On being interviewed several years later, Price admitted that he had not a single clue what the plot of this movie was about, and he's not the only one! Still, it's well worth a look. More from Sneaky Elephant's mental movie list SOON!

Wednesday 11 January 2012

Tales of Terror (1962)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIWY-5cTbqI
 
Three tales for the PRICE of one! The first concerns a young woman who visits her father (Vincent Price) after being separated from him for twenty six years. However, he is not pleased to see her since he has 'mummy' in an upstairs bedroom! Part Two has Peter Lorre as a drunk who finds out about his wife's adultery with Vincent Price, a mincing wine taster. Lorre is very nasty to his wife's cat, but Puss has his revenge in the end. The third tale is based on Poe's classic The Case of M.Valdemar, and has Basil Rathbone as a nasty hypnotist who puts VP under at the moment of his death. He then makes a play for Mrs Valdemar, but ends up getting carpeted for his pains. Mr Price puts in three very different performances, and acts as narrator between sections...what a spooky movie! More ghoulish goings-on from Sneaky Elephant SOON!

Electra Gilde in Blue (1973)

http://www.veoh.com/watch/v20110128Jx6FCA7h

 
ELECTRA GLIDE IN BLUE.Made in 1973, this is a kind of road movie with a twist. It contains performances by members of Chicago such as Terry Kath and Peter Cetera, and was produced by James William Guercio, who also produced the band's albums. Also appearing are Billy Green Bush, Mitch Ryan and a fantastic Robert Blake as the hero, Big John Wintergreen, all 5 feet 6 and a quarter inches of him. Jeannine C Riley (she had a minor hit record once, Harper Valley PTA) plays the love interest.Best of all is ELISHA COOK JR as Willie.I swear that man was in every movie ever made! One of my favourite films ever, even though it was almost universally panned by critics at the time.It's worth watching for the locations alone, being shot in the area of Superstition Mountain in Monument Valley, Arizona. I LOVE THIS FILM! More rampant roadkill  from Sneaky Elephant SOON! (WARNING! Requires installation of VEOH Player to watch full movie, but it's virus-free so download with confidence and enjoy this wonderful movie!)

The Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

http://veehd.com/video/4575462_Creature-From-The-Black-Lagoon-1954-avi


One of my favourite monster movies of all time! Doctor Maia and his team of wiggy natives discover a fossilised claw on the banks of the Amazon. Upon digging it out, the scientist finds it to be from a previously unknown species of creature. The expedition follows the course of the river into the infamous Black Lagoon in search of more fossils, but unknown to them there is a LIVE one lurking in the water! The 'Gill Man' spies the fiancee of one of the crew members and from that moment on has only one thing on his mind...and it ain't FISH! The scientists make several attempts to capture him, but our scaly chum is no pushover...This wonderful movie is a cut above nearly all other monster films of the period, from the excellent direction by Jack Arnold and atmospheric musical score (composed by Henry Mancini in his pre-Pink Panther days) right through to the star of the show, old Gilly himself. The costume is fantastic, and the scenes of him swimming and lurking beneath the boat convey a sense of rising panic and terror. A truly great film with a sympathetic monster...and the sequel wasn't bad either! More fishy flapdoodle from Sneaky Elephant SOON!
PS don't bother downloading the horrible, spam ridden Codec-C to watch this,as it's full of viruses. Instead, just make an account on VEEHD to watch this and many other great films in complete safety!

The Thing from Another World (1951)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YX4Hva5ZAXw&feature=related
 
PRESENTED IN THE RARE COLORISED VERSION!!! This classic film is still remembered today for its intelligent plot, great production and fine acting, notwithstanding John Carpenter's fantastic remake in 1982. It was also the inspiration for many later classic sci-fi horror flicks such as ALIEN.As stated above, the staff at a research post at the North Pole find a huge spacecraft buried under millions of years worth of ice. When they try to blast it free it explodes, but the body of the pilot is thrown clear. Upon examination, he proves to be an intelligent vegetable! However, you never saw a carrot as angry as this one. Produced by Howard Hawks, written by the father of modern sci-fi John W Campbell and starring James 'Gunsmoke' Arness as THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD, this is one to watch and enjoy.More vagabond vegetables and curmudgeonly cabbages from Sneaky Elephant's allotment of horror SOON!

Dr Phibes Rises Again (1972)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=44Nf1ahgmyk

 AND HERE IT IS!!! Vincent Price returns as Dr Anton Phibes, still thirsting after revenge for the death of his wife. Perhaps not quite as much fun as the first film, but still Uncle Vince manages to amuse and appall in equal measure. This time Phibes attempts to revive Victoria so that they can once again be together 'for all eternity!'. Once again Peter Jeffery plays the overworked Inspector Haddock...er...Carp...Kipper....TROUT!, always one step behind the hideously disfigured organist Phibes and his gorgeous assistant Vulnavia (played this time by Valli Kemp).. Peter Cushing adds a touch of class to this production in a small cameo role, having been brought on board at the insistence of his good friend Price. I was lucky to find this on Youtube as all the movie databases have copyright restrictions on this one for the UK... so sit back and enjoy nine episodes of inspired lunacy as the evil doc sets about his grisly mission once again. Again this has a hugely famous cast, including a couple of faces from the first one! Play spot the star while you watch! More terrifying tales from Sneaky Elephant's spooky sack SOON!

The Abominable Doctor Phibes (1971)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jJIeOmNN60M&feature=related
 
The first Dr. Phibes film, starring Vincent Price and a host of familiar faces of British movies and television in a riotous romp of revenge and murder. To pay for the death of his beautiful wife Victoria, the insane doctor plans nine biblical murders, each in the style of a curse against the Egyptian Pharaoh. Locusts, rats and a brass unicorn head fired from a catapult all play their parts in this evil plan, and Uncle Vincent displays his usual sly humour and charm.He is aided and abetted by the silent Vulnavia (Virginia North) and several crazy gadgets, plus the incompetent antics of the police, headed by Peter Jeffery as Chief Inspector Bream...or is it Codd...or Salmon....no, it's TROUT! See how many faces you can name as you enjoy this very funny outing! The second Dr. Phibes movie coming SOON courtesy of your host SNEAKY ELEPHANT!

The House on Haunted Hill (1959)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAV8UFDw_1g&feature=related
 
WOOOOOOO! Would YOU spend a night in the HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL??? With an address like that, neither would I! William Castle was infamous for dreaming up gimmicks to add that little 'something' to his films. In this case it was a process called 'EMERGO', a glow-in-the-dark skeleton on a wire that would float over the cinema audience at a crucial point in the action (the audience would often pelt the poor skeleton with popcorn boxes and coke cans). To see 'Emergo' in action click HERE http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I84IY4ooVv8&feature=related Vincent Price gives his usual assured performance here, along with his trademark sly humour.Also appearing is ELISHA COOK JR, who was a familiar face onscreen for decades,usually in supporting roles. By the way, this is the rare colorised version. BRRRRRR! You won't catch me in that ole house, not even for 10 thousand dollars! More from Sneaky Elephant's property portfolio SOON!

It Conquered the World (1956)

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=IG3UH44Q IT CONQUERED THE WORLD


A classic good/bad movie,starring two names who became VERY big later in their careers, Peter 'Mission Impossible' Graves and Lee Van Cleef, protagonist of a thousand spaghetti westerns. The Venusian Cucumber monster was designed, and I suspect also played by Paul Blaisdell, the same man responsible for the hideous 'Tabanga' tree stump of 'From Hell It Came'. Add to this some rubber bats hidden under the monster's skirt and a nailbiting showdown involving a blowtorch, and you have a classic hour and a bit of crap movie.This one scores five trunks out of five from me. More turnips of terror from Sneaky Elephant soon!

The Effects of Marijuana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHecR1u2tqk&feature=player_embedded

Spliff GOOOOD!

The Giant Claw! (1957)

http://veehd.com/video/4584591_The-Giant-Claw-1957-UR


LOOK AT THE BEAK ON THAT! This gigantic cousin of The Great Gonzo first flew onto our movie screens in 1957, and the world hasn't been the same since! The monster itself set new standards for sheer hamfisted special effects, being constructed from a ball of feathers, a length of fire hose, and two ping pong balls for eyes, all dangling from a (visible) strand of wire.Even so, it still managed to out-act the humans, especially Jeff Morrow as the leading man (have you noticed that dumbasses in movies are always named MITCH???). This was a great letdown after his previous triumph as Exeter the Alien in the brilliant THIS ISLAND EARTH of 1955 (Morrow that is, not the bird).The script does him no favours to be honest, having apparently been written by a psychotic chimpanzee on mescaline. There is an amusing anecdote concerning Jeff Morrow's role in this film...apparently the 'monster' scenes were only shot once all the human actors had been filmed, and as a result none of them knew what the Claw looked like until the movie was released. Mr. Morrow attended the opening night at the cinema in his home town, and when the creature made its appearance, the audience jeered and laughed so much that Morrow had to turn up the collar of his coat and slink red-faced from the theatre before anyone recognised him! This movie is best viewed blind drunk, or better still just blind.But look on the bright side, after this EVERYTHING ELSE will seem fantastic! More flying feathered fiendishness  from Sneaky Elephant SOON!
PS please ignore the horrible trojan-filled Codec-C download offered on this site...instead, just make an account on VEEHD to watch this and other movies from the same database!

Eegah, The Name Written in Blood! (1962)

http://retrovision.tv/freevideo/eegah


Tonight the Sneaky Elephant Crap Movie Theatre brings you a special presentation....EEGAH, THE NAME WRITTEN IN BLOOD!!! 'starring', if that's the word, the gigantic Richard Kiel,aka Jaws from the Bond movies. Here he plays the title role of EEGAH the caveman, complete with beard and club. The scenes of him raiding the campsite, then scampering away when the radio starts playing, will make you giggle. I won't even ATTEMPT to review this wonderful movie as it defies description. DON'T MISS this rare opportunity to see a truly dreadful masterpiece of the cinema. More from Sneaky Elephant's mad movies soon....If I can find anything to beat this, which is doubtful....

The Yesterday Machine(1963)

http://retrovision.tv/freevideo/yesterday-machine-the-1963


Films like this make me feel so OLD... this one was made when I was four, for goodness sake! Two 'kids', both of whom seem to be in their mid-thirties, have a spot of bother with the fuel pump on their rather fabulous looking car. Ignoring the 'KEEP OUT! TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT! SURVIVORS WILL BE SHOT AGAIN!' sign on the fence, they climb over the wire and make their way to the home of the evil Nazi scientist who lives 'about a mile or so back'. Several hours later, they come across a camp fire where they are accosted by two men. 'Hey Dad, what are you all made up for?' says our hero, and they shoot him twice, just like the sign said...that'll teach him to use lame 'hep cat' type slang in a movie! This film is MAD! More celluloid shenanigans with Sneaky Elephant SOON!

It...The Terror from beyond Space (1958)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8505073686504565975 
 
IT'S BEHIND YOU! This hokey forerunner to Alien stars Marshall Thompson, the main man in the 60's jungle series Daktari and also the classic Fiend Without a Face. A team of spacemen on Mars is wiped out, and the blame falls on Thompson, their commander. A second crew is dispatched to bring him home to face justice but the real killer, a nasty Martian, sneaks (I like him already!) into the rocket and stows away in the air ducts,emerging occasionally to vent his extraterrestrial bloodlust on the unsuspecting astronauts. One by one the crew are picked off, and the survivors must band together to find and destroy the alien. This movie is typical of its time, featuring plenty of silvery metal and stiff-jawed performances, and the monster himself resembles the Creature From the Black Lagoon, only not nearly as handsome or realistic. His feet especially are a letdown, being particularly scabby looking, and the toothy face is laughable. The weapons the crew use against him are also pretty low-tech...Colt .45 automatics and Garand M1 rifles which were already several decades old even when this was made. Not the worst sci fi film ever, but not the best by a long way.More madness and mayhem from Sneaky Elephant's moth eaten moon rocket SOON!

The Creature Walks Among Us (1956)

http://veehd.com/video/4523646_The-Creature-Walks-Among-Us-divx

 OH NOOOOO! It's those two again from This Island Earth, Rex Reason and Jeff Morrow, here reunited against the wonderful Gill Man...except that things aren't so wonderful this time around. A bunch of so-called scientists capture Gilly but manage to set fire to him. They operate to remove the burnt scales and fins, and discover that he has lungs! They decide to turn him into a 'man', but this doesn't go down well with the fishy fellow, and all manner of ludicrous events ensue. Rex Reason is his usual wooden self as is the rest of the cast, and Gilly himself resembles a masked Mexican wrestler in a sports jacket. What a travesty! No wonder the character was sold to a Russian film company who made their own version of the Creature entitled The Amphibian Man (Chelovek Amfibya) in 1963. If I can find a decent print of that it will certainly appear on this page, as the story (Gill Man chases GIRLS!) and camera work are closer to Jack Arnold's original than the mushy mess presented here. More wet wonders from Sneaky Elephant SOON! (WARNING! Requires codec plugin to view, but works fine with no viruses so please download with confidence and enjoy (???) this movie!)

Tuesday 10 January 2012

Mr. Sardonicus (1961)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ob07XLXpdw&feature=related


WHAT ARE YOU GRINNING AT??? Another great film from the master of schlock horror, William Castle. This is a morality play on the dangers of the love of money. A farmer buys a lottery ticket, but unfortunately dies in his sleep. Guess what...his numbers come up! The only snag is that he is buried with the winning ticket still in his pocket. His son decides to retrieve the ticket, egged on by his greedy wife to 'prove his love' for her....nothing to do with the cash of course! So, at dead of night, the young man creeps along to the cemetery and opens the grave......I first saw this brilliantly scary movie when I was 8 years old, late one night on tv. IT FRIGHTENED THE CRAP OUT OF ME! Starring Guy Rolfe as Baron Sardonicus, Audrey Dalton as his (second) wife and Ronald Lewis as the great surgeon who is coerced into operating on the crazed nobleman. Also appearing as Krull, the Baron's manservant, is Oskar Homolka, a frequent 'heavy' in many films of the 50's and 60's. Here, he does the Baron's dirty work with relish, especially when he gets the chance to torture the maid with LEECHES! The 'Castle Gimmick' for this movie was the so-called 'PUNISHMENT POLL' where the audience had to vote 'thumbs up or down!' using specially printed cards, whether Sardonicus gets further punishment or not, the film having two different endings. Allegedly, the 'thumbs up' ending was never shown in any theatre, the audiences always voting for Sardonicus to suffer!( in truth, the 'thumbs up' sequence was never made, so anyone who tells you they have seen it is a LIAR!) The scene where the Baron's frozen grin is first revealed is so scary, I DARE YOU TO WATCH THIS WITH THE LIGHTS OUT! More mystery and madness from Sneaky Elephant's hope chest of horror to come!

The Andromeda Strain (1971)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wajIliPFHk4


Here's a great one....what if aliens were too small to see with the naked eye? That's the premise of this tale, based on the novel by Michael Crichton and presented as 'Science Fact' rather than fiction. A satellite crash lands in a small town in New Mexico, population 68. But by the time the recovery team arrive, the population is down to just two! The plot reveals itself gradually, so I will just comment on the last quarter hour or so, which is dedicated to a rather silly 'disarm the device before it kills us all' scenario, which has been done to death by so many stories from FAILSAFE to ALIEN. Also, the meal James Olson makes of reaching the off-switch makes you wish for the bomb to go off after all.He lurches, he staggers, at several points he simply stands and stares at the walls despite having less than five minutes to reach the disarming station. I know it's in the novel, but that was just Crichton making the point that Man's technology is his own worst enemy...they could have knocked a good five minutes off it without the film suffering. The 'space virus' is dealt with pretty effectively prior to this so the director Robert Wise may have felt the running time needed some padding but apart from this he has done a brilliant job. The special effects were handled by Douglas Trumbull, the man responsible for such classics as 2001, A Space Odyssey and Silent Running. This is well worth a look, but be warned...it's pretty long so get your beer and crisps ready before you sit down to watch! More infectious entertainment from Sneaky Elephant SOON!

Revenge of the Creature (1955)

http://veehd.com/video/4585295_Revenge-of-the-Creature-From-Black-Lagoon-1955-HD


BUUURRRP! I shouldn't have eaten that fish, it keeps repeating on me! The action takes place a year after the events of the first film. Lucas,the captain of the original boat has returned to the Black Lagoon in his new vessel, the Rita II with a couple of hunters on board. They plan to capture the Gill Man and take him back to civilisation as an exhibit in the Florida Marine World. As they enter the Lagoon we are treated to the sight of Gilly catching a big bird for his tea, yum yum. One of the hunters goes down wearing a deep sea diver's outfit and the monster attacks him, but is driven off when the boat crew open fire with rifles. The team then set off several dynamite charges in the water, and this brings the stunned Gill Man floating to the surface. They capture their prize and bear him away, but as we know from before Gilly is tougher than he looks...and he needs to be, for guess who is one of the scientists awaiting him back in the USA? JOHN AGAR, that's who! This sweaty regular of a million hokey monster movies is head of the animal behaviour department of the University, where he spends his days (and probably nights) with a chimp named Neil. Sharing Neil's cage is none other than CLINT EASTWOOD!!! in a very early role as a lab assistant. This first sequel to CFTBL is again directed by Jack Arnold and is a fair way to spend some time, unlike the third instalment of Gill Man's adventures, which Sneaky Elephant will present SOON! (WARNING! Requires Codec-C download to watch this link, but once you have it you can watch all movie links on the VEEHD site so it's worth having. Check with your antivirus and browser for compatibility first).

Invasion of the Saucermen (1957)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zS6tpapTPTw


THE GOVERNMENT should do something about these illegal aliens...coming here in their flying saucers... taking our jobs and our women....green as the ace of spades and breeding like rabbits.....This amazing movie, also known as INVASION OF THE HELL CREATURES, stars Steve Terrell (who?) and Frank Gorshin, better known as the Riddler in the 60's Batman tv series. It concerns a bunch of big headed bug eyed buggers from Mars who inject their victims with alcohol via their long needle-like fingernails. And this is a BAD thing???? The opening credits state that this is 'A TRUE STORY OF A FLYING SAUCER'...yeah right! One more thing...the aliens were designed by the same guy who made the Venusian Vegetable Monster from IT CONQUERED THE WORLD, the ever-inventive Paul Blaisdell, but these ones are actually rather well done.More alien antics and monster mayhem with Sneaky Elephant soon!

Freaks! (1932)

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=5P3K8KD3
 
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! HERE COME THE FREAKS! This classic 1932 film by Todd Browning was so over the top it was banned in the UK for over 40 years and withdrawn in the USA within days of release,due to the fact that most of the actors were REAL FREAKSHOW PERFORMERS. These wonderful (but different) people included the Three Legged Boy, Randian the Seal Man, the Pinhead Sisters and many more.If only I had been around back then they could have had THE ELEPHANT MAN too! Also stars Billy Barty, possibly the best known 'midget' actor of the 30's and 40's. He plays Hans, a well off freakshow performer who falls for Olga, the beautiful but greedy trapeze artist who is secretly plotting to get her hands on his money with the help of the circus strongman. Will she pull it off...or will the Freaks get their REVENGE??? This tale of love,deceit and horrific retribution shocked audiences when it was released, and still has the power to make you sweat to this day. A CLASSIC! More from Sneaky Elephant's film collection soon!

Five Fingers of Death (1973)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7R44Qr1eC0
 
HAI---YAAAH! Also known as King Boxer,this 1973 Shaw Brothers production was one of the first kung fu movies ever made, and the first one I ever saw, at the tender age of 14. The plot is a familiar one...promising young student seeks to avenge the death of his master against the wicked enemy, and also win the big tournament which will decide who is the 'King Boxer' of the region. He does this by using the secret and deadly 'Iron Palm' technique which his teacher entrusted to him. Lo Lieh makes a great hero, and the fights themselves were certainly an eye-opener back in the 70s as most westerners knew nothing of these fighting arts.The two 'masters from Japan' , who resemble a pair of poodles with bamboo poles, are a real nasty duo who almost finish off our hero...but thanks to his indomitable fighting spirit he eventually kicks some major ass in the contest and wins the day. Also watch out for the incredible EYE GOUGING scene, which had me squirming in my seat that day in the old Ashford Astoria back in 73! A wonderful film which has a special place in my heart. More bone crunching buffoonery from Sneaky Elephant SOON!